Early in every new year, I join the majority of the population in getting reflective about the past year and what I did (or didn’t) accomplish. I look at areas that need improvement and set goals for the coming months.
I no longer do resolutions, as I think they are beautifully-worded and useless statements. I’ve also started moving away from “goals,” too, in the usual sense. I’ve been great at setting goals that never actually materialize.
That’s not to say I don’t have any plan or direction; goals play a very small role. Later, I’ll tell you what I plan to do instead this year.
I’ve read many posts like this over the past couple weeks. Writers and thinkers I greatly admire work their way through this process of reviewing the year. And they’ve done it publicly on their blogs or podcasts.
Maybe you have no real interest in hearing about my year, but I need to do this in writing and in public. And maybe it will encourage you to do something similar, even if it’s just about your digital parenting in 2018…and in 2019.
So, here goes. The wins, the frustrations, and the lessons I’ve learned on the way.
What went well in 2018
Professionally, it was a full year. I started my 25th year as an educator (not possible!) and the year started with a bang. I oversee all five school libraries as a sole district library media specialist, and four of those libraries went through a complete renovation this year. You know how, when you paint a room in your house, you first have to move all the furniture out? Well, imagine that room contains upwards of 10,000 books. Now, do that four times. All in the same week. It was a busy, but exciting time to see such transformation. The payoff for all the work came in the fall, when the kids came into the new spaces for the first time.
I attended a couple professional conferences, which are always invigorating for me. Even this introvert loves meeting new colleagues and making connections! Especially in a world where it is easy to have a ton of virtual “friends”, it is always better when you meet some of those people for the first time face-to-face. Sometimes these conferences are also great excuses to travel. My wife and I spent a week out in Utah and Arizona around the time of one of hers, and we visited old friends in Nashville for one of mine.
Personally, I had some small wins, too. For one of them, I decided to focus on my spiritual growth by reading through the entire Bible during the year. I’d done this years ago, but my morning Bible reading had become inconsistent. I tapped into the power of social media and online groups, which reminded me that this form of technology can have positive, powerful benefits. Using the YouVersion app and a group of guys with the same goal, we read and commented our way from Genesis to Revelation.
ParentingDigital grew. When 2018 ended, I had twice the number of people coming to the blog than were reading at the start of the year. I am thrilled to think people (like you!) are finding some value and encouragement in what I’m publishing. The Facebook page hit 2000 likes and our Facebook group now has 125 digital parents as part of a community supporting one another. I’m very much looking forward to serving you more in the coming year (and I’ll give you a little peek here of how I plan to do that.)
What didn’t go so well in 2018
Of course, we all have things that we look back on with a twinge of regret. Goals that were not met, habits that didn’t stick, to-do list items that we just never got around to. Totally. Normal. Real. Life.
My list this year is longer than I would like it to be but probably typical of most years…if I’m being honest. Here are a few of them that might encourage you that you are not alone in this reality!
My health
While I had a couple of bursts of eating better (Keto, ugh.) and moving more, I was never really consistent. And my numbers show it. (I didn’t know a triglyceride number could be that high, doc?)
To get this back in check, I’m starting off better this year by tracking things more deliberately. I use a habit tracking app called HabitList to record whether or not I got my 30 minutes of exercise/activity in that day. Trying to keep the streak up is a little competitive game I play. I also have started tracking all my food again in the app MyFitnessPal. It not only makes food choices a more conscious action, but it gives me some interesting data each day that is…enlightening. (I had no idea cheese and bread had so much sodium. Not fair.)
My relationships
My wife and I did not go on enough regular dates (though we snuck in quite a few), and I didn’t do enough “breakfast Saturday” dates with each of my boys. These times, when we set aside the phones and screens and get out of the house, are such valuable moments to reconnect as individuals. For my boys especially, it’s an important opportunity to listen to what is going on in their world and what they are struggling with.
And in a digital world, a world of so-called connectedness, it is easy to get completely disconnected from the ones who need our guidance and attention the most. This is the ongoing challenge for all of us, isn’t it? Use technology to connect us to others in ways we never could before, while preventing technology from isolating us from each other.
My own tech use
I have some tools and apps in place to help me manage and limit my own phone and screen use: Freedom (app), FB News Feed Eradicator (Chrome extension), eyeCare (Chrome extension), the new Screen Time settings on the iPhone, etc. Even with these in place, I still find myself mindlessly picking up my phone, checking mail and social, and wandering around online because I forgot why I logged on in the first place.
Not only does this waste precious time where I could be doing a number of other more valuable things, but it is also poor modeling for my kids. I do share with them the struggles I also have with screen overuse and borderline-addictive behaviors, as well as how I’ve tried to tame that monster in my own life. But if I’m going to guide them effectively, I also need to be practicing what I preach.
What I’ve learned
It’s easy to wallow in what didn’t go well and where we’ve “failed.” But if we take on a growth mindset, then failure is simply an opportunity to learn. Any mistakes or shortcomings are just teachers to show us how and where we can improve.
Here are just a few things I’ve learned (or re-learned) this year:
I need to take action to eliminate noise: This especially applies to our digital world, so I need to audit my devices and systems to turn off notifications that I don’t need. I also need to unsubscribe to a LOT of emails that I don’t find valuable anymore. And I need to find make more opportunities for quiet, whether that is going to a park or popping on my noise-canceling headphones.
I need to be jealous of my time and deliberate about how I use it. As un-fun as it sounds, I need to schedule as much as possible and live and die by my calendar. That includes “appointments” to go on a date with my wife, or have breakfast with one of the boys, or write, or call an old friend, or whatever. Productivity guru Michael Hyatt often says “What gets scheduled, gets done.” I’d add the opposite: “What isn’t on your calendar is forgotten or indefinitely postponed!”
I need to tighten up and simplify my systems. This includes the calendar mentioned above, as well as my “to-do” list and my notetaking system (do I take notes digitally or physically, and where do I store them?)
I need to focus on serving, not working. This is a mindset shift that I realize I need to make. It’s easy for me to think about the stuff I need to do, but I often lose sight of why I’m doing it in the first place. I try to choose a word for the year, and for 2019 my word is Serve. I’m trying to run everything through the filter of this question: How can I best serve my family, my colleagues and students, my readers, my church, and my community? If I let that question guide the things I put on my to-do list and calendar, I think I’ll avoid the trap (mostly) of doing tasks just for the sake of “doing work.” And I think I’ll enjoy everything I do more, too.
I need to focus on habits, not goals. This is probably the biggest lesson, and it came from reading James Clear’s book Atomic Habits. In his work on the science behind habits, he draws this conclusion: “We do not rise to the level of our goals; we fall to the level of our systems.” This doesn’t mean there is no place for goals and goal-setting; I still have them. But to accomplish the important things (health, finances, relationships, business, hobbies, etc.,) our goals aren’t enough.
In 2019, I am making a much more deliberate effort in breaking old, bad habits and creating new, healthy ones. I’m focusing on the process of starting small, setting up cues and rewards, and tracking them daily. (This is another place where the positive use of technology plays a role!) My big goals are broken down into quarterly ones, then weekly ones, and–ultimately–incremental, tracked, daily habits. And this structure can apply to any goal you might set, even your goals as a digital parent!
2019 goals
Rather than bore you with my long list of habits (and it’s kinda long…), I want to share a few of my goals as they relate to you and the ParentingDigital blog and community.
- Continue serving fellow digital parents by creating helpful, relevant, and frequent written and video content for the blog, Facebook group, and other possible channels.
- Write and publish a useful, actionable book on managing screen time in your family.
- Create an online course that walks parents through the process of building a balanced, digital home.
- Launch a podcast to highlight interviews with experts and practical information and ideas.
I’m sharing these as an encouragement to you and what you can look forward to seeing this year. Just as important, though, I’m sharing them for accountability. Nothing like telling a whole bunch of people what you are planning to do, huh? And you have my permission to hold me to it and ask me about any of these.
(Oh boy, what have I done?)
I know this is not a typical article for ParentingDigital, but I hope it has given you some things to think about in your own reflection and in looking ahead at 2019. I’d love to hear YOUR “digital parenting” lessons from the past year and your goals for the coming one! Share them in the comments below, or add them to the discussion in the Facebook group (Join here.)
With that, I wish you all the best in finding balance and raising digital kids in 2019!
The Salt Trick is a natural technique that involves using specific salts, such as Blue Salt, to enhance male performance
Hi there, I discovered your blog by means of Google while searching for a related subject, your web site got here up, it seems great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
You really make it appear really easy together with your presentation however I to find this matter to be actually one thing which I feel I’d by no means understand. It kind of feels too complex and extremely extensive for me. I’m taking a look forward to your subsequent publish, I will attempt to get the grasp of it!
Howdy! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog. Is it very difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any ideas or suggestions? With thanks
Hi my family member! I wish to say that this post is awesome, nice written and include approximately all important infos. I would like to peer extra posts like this .
Whats up! I just want to give a huge thumbs up for the nice data you will have right here on this post. I might be coming back to your blog for extra soon.
I have not checked in here for some time since I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are good quality so I guess I will add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂
Hello there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my twitter group? There’s a lot of folks that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Thanks
Hi my loved one! I wish to say that this post is amazing, nice written and include approximately all vital infos. I would like to peer more posts like this .
I’ll immediately grab your rss feed as I can’t find your email subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly permit me realize in order that I could subscribe. Thanks.
Today, while I was at work, my sister stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a 40 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!
I and also my friends ended up looking through the best tips and tricks located on your website and then I got a terrible suspicion I never expressed respect to the site owner for those secrets. All of the young boys happened to be for that reason thrilled to read through them and have in effect definitely been taking advantage of these things. We appreciate you getting quite kind and for picking certain really good topics most people are really desperate to be aware of. Our sincere regret for not expressing appreciation to you earlier.
This website online can be a stroll-via for the entire information you wanted about this and didn’t know who to ask. Glimpse right here, and also you’ll undoubtedly uncover it.
I’ll right away grab your rss feed as I can not find your e-mail subscription link or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Please let me know in order that I could subscribe. Thanks.
It is truly a nice and helpful piece of info. I am satisfied that you simply shared this useful information with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
It¦s truly a nice and useful piece of information. I am satisfied that you just shared this useful information with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.
Those are yours alright! . We at least need to get these people stealing images to start blogging! They probably just did a image search and grabbed them. They look good though!
Thank you for sharing excellent informations. Your website is so cool. I’m impressed by the details that you¦ve on this blog. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for more articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found just the info I already searched all over the place and simply couldn’t come across. What a perfect web-site.
I like the valuable info you provide on your articles. I will bookmark your weblog and test again right here regularly. I am reasonably sure I’ll be informed plenty of new stuff proper here! Good luck for the next!
Hi! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest writing a blog post or vice-versa? My website covers a lot of the same subjects as yours and I believe we could greatly benefit from each other. If you are interested feel free to send me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you! Awesome blog by the way!
What i don’t understood is in truth how you are not actually a lot more smartly-liked than you might be now. You’re so intelligent. You already know thus considerably in relation to this subject, produced me in my opinion believe it from so many various angles. Its like women and men are not fascinated until it is something to do with Woman gaga! Your own stuffs nice. At all times take care of it up!
Hi, Neat post. There’s an issue along with your site in web explorer, would test thisK IE nonetheless is the marketplace chief and a big portion of other people will pass over your fantastic writing due to this problem.
You made some clear points there. I did a search on the subject and found most guys will go along with with your website.
Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Very helpful info particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such information a lot. I was seeking this particular info for a long time. Thank you and good luck.
Dead pent written content, appreciate it for selective information. “The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly.” by Corra Harris.
I enjoy your work, regards for all the useful posts.
There are certainly a whole lot of particulars like that to take into consideration. That may be a nice point to bring up. I provide the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you deliver up the place crucial factor can be working in honest good faith. I don?t know if finest practices have emerged round issues like that, but I’m positive that your job is clearly identified as a good game. Both boys and girls feel the impact of just a moment’s pleasure, for the rest of their lives.
I genuinely enjoy reading through on this website, it contains superb content. “Never fight an inanimate object.” by P. J. O’Rourke.
Your style is so unique compared to many other people. Thank you for publishing when you have the opportunity,Guess I will just make this bookmarked.2
Good day! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I really enjoy reading your articles. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the same topics? Thanks!
Greetings! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a group of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us beneficial information to work on. You have done a wonderful job!
Hello! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results. If you know of any please share. Thanks!
Excellent blog here! Also your website loads up very fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my website loaded up as fast as yours lol
In the awesome pattern of things you’ll get an A+ just for effort and hard work. Exactly where you lost me was on the particulars. You know, it is said, details make or break the argument.. And that could not be more accurate at this point. Having said that, let me reveal to you what exactly did work. The authoring is definitely really powerful and that is most likely the reason why I am making the effort in order to comment. I do not make it a regular habit of doing that. Second, despite the fact that I can see a leaps in reason you make, I am not sure of how you seem to unite the ideas which in turn produce the final result. For now I will yield to your issue however trust in the foreseeable future you link the dots better.
Great wordpress blog here.. It’s hard to find quality writing like yours these days. I really appreciate people like you! take care
Very interesting subject, appreciate it for putting up. “Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge’s chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view.” by Lillian Hellman.
Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog when you could be giving us something informative to read?
Excellent website. Lots of helpful info here. I?¦m sending it to several buddies ans also sharing in delicious. And naturally, thanks in your effort!
I have been surfing on-line greater than three hours as of late, but I never discovered any interesting article like yours. It is beautiful value sufficient for me. In my opinion, if all website owners and bloggers made good content material as you did, the web will be a lot more helpful than ever before.
It’s the best time to make some plans for the longer term and it’s time to be happy. I’ve learn this post and if I could I desire to suggest you some attention-grabbing things or tips. Perhaps you could write next articles regarding this article. I want to learn even more issues about it!
I got what you mean , thankyou for posting.Woh I am delighted to find this website through google.
I wish to show my affection for your generosity in support of people who really need assistance with the niche. Your special commitment to getting the solution all over had been certainly valuable and have consistently permitted others much like me to attain their desired goals. Your own valuable recommendations indicates this much to me and much more to my office workers. Thanks a lot; from each one of us.
I’ve been browsing online greater than 3 hours as of late, yet I by no means found any fascinating article like yours. It is lovely price enough for me. In my opinion, if all site owners and bloggers made excellent content as you did, the net can be much more helpful than ever before.
Good – I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your website. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs and related information ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, website theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Nice task.
great points altogether, you just won a logo new reader. What might you suggest about your post that you made a few days ago? Any positive?
I’m really inspired along with your writing talents as neatly as with the format for your blog. Is this a paid topic or did you modify it your self? Either way stay up the excellent high quality writing, it is rare to peer a nice weblog like this one today!
augmentin antibiotics Cancer cells use sugar much faster than normal tissues, hence, the cancer cells in the body absorb large amounts of the radioactive substance
The photographs and visuals used in this blog are always stunning They really add a beautiful touch to the posts
whoah this blog is wonderful i like reading your posts. Keep up the great paintings! You understand, many people are hunting around for this information, you could help them greatly.
Pharmazee I’m often to blogging and i really appreciate your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I’m going to bookmark your web site and maintain checking for brand spanking new information.
I appreciate, cause I found just what I was looking for. You have ended my 4 day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye
Your article helped me a lot, is there any more related content? Thanks!
Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.
Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.
Great review, Cory! Thanks for being vulnerable enough to share the tough stuff. Here’s to 2019!